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Showing posts with label God. Show all posts
Showing posts with label God. Show all posts

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Self-Hatred and Being Yourself

Blessed Beltane.  The Goddess and God have come together to give birth to all of nature.  Let life spring forth and begin anew.  Thank Gracious Goddess and Gracious God.

Another steady day of work yesterday that had a bit of a strange feeling to it.  I kind of felt like I was late for something or that I needed to be somewhere else.  When I got home and had time to relax and simply “be” an image of me enjoying life in my RV came to mind along with the thought that this is where I’m supposed to be.  My passion and dream of RVing is behind schedule I see as this was like me seeing an alternate reality where had I made different decisions in the past this, living life in an RV would be mine this present day.  However, in knowing that I am neither filled with anxiety nor regret as I know RVing is my new way of life and it’s just a tad bit behind schedule that is all.  Thank You Spirit.

Another quiet evening at home last night and how did we, did I spend it?  Reading, writing, and be-ing and then off to bed.

Spirit Is and today’s visiting Tarot Card is “XV Self-Hatred: The trap to avoid for all minorities.  Unconsciously accepting societal norms.  Low self-esteem".  This is a reminder that I’m close to falling into that trap of being corralled like the rest of society and following the masses and this is something I wish not to do and want to avoid at all costs.  I truly want to be myself and walk to the beat of my own drum.  I want to live the life I most desire and do it without worry of those who will judge and criticize for following the path of my choosing.

Thank You Spirit.

Blessed Be.

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Dreams Within Dreams

Dreams within dreams, an experience I do not remember having and a little bit off-putting but not really, at the same time.  I dreamed that I awoke to use the bathroom and came back to bed however, I then awoke from that dream but was still dreaming of a guy or was it a seal performing in a pool.  He was trying to play what I would say was basketball and he and his coach were trying to figure out a way of getting him more lift out of the pool in order to really shoot some hoops then I actually awoke from that, well kind of, maybe as I then was thinking about travel and the “10 of Wands” appeared, then I opened my eyes and it was two hours later than I thought it was.

So I’m not sure where my mind is at the moment but I am quite awake and in an odd state of mind.  I worked with Tarot and today’s visiting Tarot Card is the “10 of Wands: The Burden.  Responsibilities.  Obligations.  Overcommitting yourself.  Realizing that burdens are a part of life."  I need to focus my energies if I really want to get out there and travel the roads of North America, if that really is my goal.

When the image of this card from the deck I’m using came to mind while I was dreaming I immediately thought of travel as this is thought, the idea the image evokes in me, plain and simple travel.  So seeing the 10 of Wands makes me want to travel however it is also sending me other messages as well, those of responsibilities and obligations, lack of focus, trying too hard to reach my goals.  I think I need to sit back and relax a little and just let things be, including myself.

One step at a time...no worrying...believe in myself and my abilities...tackle my dreams and goals with courage and conviction and forever strive to reach the “pot of gold at the end of the rainbow”.

Thank You Spirit.

Blessed Be.

Monday, February 11, 2013

Direction In Life

I had a very comfortable, restful, and peaceful sleep, don’t remember much about dreaming but what a great rest I had through the night.  I awoke with reverence to the Goddess and God filling my heart and soul and giving thanks with all of my being.  In my mind I had repeating over and over again, “Waxing, Waxing, Growing, Growing, Diana’s power is flowing, flowing” as written by Scott Cunningham in his book Wicca A Guide for the Solitary Practitioner.

I sat with Tarot before going out onto the deck to breathe in the sweet fragrance of the mist soaked air.  I love the mist because it is not heavy like rain but rather like a gentle caress of moisture as it touches you as it seemingly floats through the air. Today’s visiting Tarot Card is “XIV Temperance: Mix things up a little.  Combining separate elements to create something new.  Moderation (not too much of each flavour).  Flexibility.”

I referenced the Collins gem book on Tarot by Rowenna Stuart and was struck by this “The Querant may be uncertain about her direction in life and consequently may be prone to impatience, indecision, and hasty judgements at this time.”  This is exactly what I felt as soon as I read that statement.  As much I think I know the direction I want to go in life I waffle about it and think myself, well maybe, maybe not, should I, should I not?  If I’m confused imagine the Goddess and God and the Universe around me.  What a waste of energies my indecision is causing.

I need to get down to business and really decide one way or another, what it is I want to do with my life.  This is the perfect time to do it too as I’m in between jobs and have the freedom to make a decision and act on it before I get tied down to another job that will again hold me back from truly and once and for all pursuing my dreams and real goals in life.

Oh, thank you Goddess and God for bringing me into the Light.

Blessed Be.

Saturday, February 9, 2013

Faith, Trust, and Courage

I was feeling kind of blue again upon awaking but meditating for a few moments with crystals in my hands and thinking about and talking with the Goddess and God soon dispelled the blues from my mind.  I was soon reminded of the comforting motherly figure who visited me in my thoughts and dreams last night and how I need not worry and cause myself stress about my present situation of being unemployed and under a small burden of debt. 

All is right in my world and I am in a good place is what I now feel with my heart and soul.  I am on the right path.  Three words that kept repeating over and over in my mind were faith, trust, and courage.  Faith, trust, and courage.  Faith, trust, and courage in myself.

Thank You Gracious Goddess and God.

And good luck to everyone on the east coast having to dig out of all that snow.  Be careful and keep safe and warm.  Blessings.

Spirit Is and Today’s visiting Tarot Card is the “Guide of Coins: Seeing the magic in the mundane.  Spiritual fulfillment from nature.  Finding joy in the ordinary.”

As I shuffled the cards outside on the deck birds were singing and nature was full of life.  No sounds of the city to be heard. . .for a quick moment in time nature was all that I knew and felt—the river flowing to meet the ocean, the birds greeting the morning in song, and Mother Earth wrapping her arms around me in a loving embrace.

Trust, faith, and courage. . .

Thank You Spirit.

Blessed Be.

Friday, February 8, 2013

Turn Things Inside Out or Uside Down and V The Priest

I’m feeling a bit blue this morning however my heart is full of love, love from the Goddess and God.  I guess it’s because I have dreams and goals in mind and too impatient to wait for them to come to fruition.  As well, I realize the mistakes I made and had I done things a little differently I’d be feeling a lot better today.  But I’ve learned yet another lesson and this is a good thing.

My studied of Wicca and Tarot are coming along nicely and even though I may not be reading a book or meditating I am learning in other ways – meeting smiles on the street or in the store, nature tapping you on the shoulder to say a quick “Hello” or the simple act of making dinner and infusing it with love with a quick stir or two.

Thank You Gracious Goddess and God for the gentle reminders of your presence in my life.

I’m feeling a better now.

Today’s visiting Tarot Card is “V The Priest: The best way to help others is to help them make their own decisions.  Wisdom.  Advice.  A promise.  A ceremony or ritual."  


I got the sense when looking at this card that I needed to look at the larger picture, see things from a new and/or different perspective , to perhaps turn things around a little, turn things inside out to gain that new perspective, to put a bit of a different spin on the situation.  Hhhmmm. . .things are making a wee bit more sense already. . .

Thank You Spirit.

Blessed Be


Monday, February 4, 2013

10 of Swords and X The Wheel of Life

Sleep was not quickly forthcoming last night either for me or my partner.  We both got out of bed for awhile before getting back into bed and still finding sleep hard to find.  I had a dream about a physiotherapy and massage therapy session I went to that seemed more like torture and then awoke with a terribly sore back, could hardly move when I first got up.

Yesterday was a decent enough day as we went out to see “Anna Karenina”, what a beautiful movie.  After the movie we had a late lunch a noodle place before heading over to the quay for our afternoon coffee, then it was onward home, where we spent the rest of the afternoon and evening relaxing.

Oh yeah almost forgot I read an article about drumming, chants, and trances and hope to have a drum come into my life and as a part of this I also hope to find an artist or someone who can design Pagan and/or Wiccan inspired rubber stamps that I can put to good use in making handcrafted cards that suit my Spiritual Path and Beliefs.

So Mote it Be.

Today’s visiting cards fell away from the deck as I was in the process of cutting the deck three times.  They are the “10 of Swords: You Choose the Script.  You can choose to plug yourself into a negative viewpoint, or to unplug yourself from one.  The end of a bad situation.  Hysterical overreaction." and “X The Wheel of Life: If life on the rim makes you dizzy, move to the center.  Awareness of the circles of life.  Equanimity.  A change in fortunes.  Guidance from your future or past self."

This is an interesting pair of cards to have come visit for the day.  When I delve further into these cards I get the sense that I need to follow my intuition/instinct and gut feelings if you as I already know what I need to do to really create the life I want and simply or maybe not so simply act on it.  I have a strong sense of what I need to do and where I need to go in life however I also have a bit of fear creeping in about the unknown that this, that these decisions will bring into or upon my life.  Give me strength and courage Gracious Goddess and God to act on this knowledge and intuition I have and to face the unknown future that lies ahead.

Thank You Spirit.

Blessed Be.

Sunday, February 3, 2013

3 of Swords - Heavy-Hearted?

The fragrant rain-filled air was a perfect to breath in a good start to my day.  I love that I can go out on the deck and “just be” for a while as I commune with the Goddess and God after a night of sleep.  As I awoke today I immediately thought of the Goddess and God and my RV.  In my vision, I’ve parked my RV near a mountain. A rocky outcropping sits just behind my RV on one side while the beginnings of a forest are off to the other side.  A beautiful setting to be in.  The air is fresh and Spirit abounds everywhere.  Amazing!  Thank You Spirit.

Oh, I forgot to mention that yesterday morning while I was on the deck in the morning a single solitary crow was sitting on the corner of a tall building across the street making his/her presence known as I was shuffling my Tarot Cards and meditating with the Goddess and God.

Today’s visiting Tarot Card is the “3 of Swords: The Wreckage.  Feeling heavy-hearted after an emotional storm.  Feeling hurt or betrayed.”  My heart is heavy I guess most likely because I did not get around to doing a Imbolc Ritual as I wanted to as we were entertaining last night. 

I did set up an altar space on our dining room table afterwards but with my lack of energy and sleepiness I only chose to go through the motions of a ritual but I must admit it did feel great as a bit of energy was raised even without a full blown active ritual taking place.  Thank You Goddess and God for gracing me with your presence, as you always do.

Blessed Be.

Friday, February 1, 2013

Back in 1999

I've written about this before but felt I should revisit my introduction to Wicca and Witchcraft back in 1999 when I started a new job that became a short0lived career in 2005/6 when the the company I worked closed it's office in Vancouver.

The company I worked for only had three employees in the Vancouver office of which I was one however we were responsible a large volume of sales in the emerging phone card market.  One of the employees and I had many chances to converse about things other than work and eventually the subject of Wicca and Witchcraft came up.  We talked on and off about it until she departed the company a few years later.  She lent me a book about Wicca that I devoured and read from cover to cover, Wicca: The Old Religion in the New Millennium written by Vivianne Crowley and published by Thorsons, An Imprint of Harper Collins Publishers in 1996.

I also researched the internet and printed off a huge volume of all things related to Wicca and Witchcraft (it's 3 inches thick):


During the early 2000's I got a bit sidetracked for a few years but luckily met my current partner who I thank for rescuing me from pursuing and trying to live a false life and identity.  Unfortunately, I allowed myself to get involved in and attend an evangelical church that so disconnected me from Spirit that it took me a long time to recover the closed mindedness it set upon me.  However, each to their own, it did not work for me and I did not fit into it's mold.

Today is St. Brigid's Day and tomorrow Imbolc and how wonderful it is to observe these two days and honour the Goddess and God and lay out my plans and goals for the year and to celebrate the lengthening days and increasing light of the year.

I take this time to renew and rededicate myself to the Goddess and God and Wiccan path.  I am Wicca, I am a Witch and I give thanks for this.

Blessed Be.

Happy St. Brigid's Day

Happy St. Brigid’s Day.

I had a good day yesterday.  I made it to the gym and boy did working out feel good.  I came home relaxed a little, studied, went out to do a few errands, came back studied some more and soon it was time for us to head and meet a friend for dinner.

We took part in Dine Out Vancouver, where a participating restaurants create fixed priced menus offering a selection of their appetizers, entrees, and desserts.  We tried Le Parisien’s $28 offering and was it ever good.  My partner and friend had Mimosa Salad while I had the Leek and Potato Soup with Bacon for our appetizers; we all chose the Duck Confit for out entree, delicious and for dessert our friend had the crepe while my partner and I had the Lemon Tart, loved it.

The evening was very pleasant and we both enjoyed the walk to and from the restaurant from the nearest transit hub six or seven blocks away.  We got home later than we usually get to bed but it was such a great evening that we stayed up a bit longer so we could slowly wind down the day before slipping into bed where we drifted away into our dreams.

I awoke around 7am but stayed in bed until almost 7:30 as I communed with the Goddess and God and the Spirit of the Tarot.  Thank You Spirit.

Today’s visiting Tarot Card is the "7 of Coins: Chores.  Resting after a job well done.  Contemplating life's cycles and changes.  Planning your next move.  Clearing out what's unnecessary in your life to make way for something new."  I like this card however I feel that it does not quite fit with my thoughts or situation unless I am completely missing something as I do not feel like I’ve completed the task of clearing things out and am in no way prepared to start planning my next move but with that being said I will trust the Tarot and continue on with my day and reflect on the “7 of Coins” and the message he brings.

Thank You Spirit.

Blessed Be.

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

2 of Coins

Yesterday was wash for me in terms of studying as I was so tired from not sleeping well through the night that I could hardly think.  I was even too tired to fall back to sleep so I groggily slogged through the day.

We did however manage to make a couple of trips to Creative Home Furnishings to pick up our occasional tables that we ordered in late November or early December.  Custom made pieces built in Chilliwack, BC.  They look really good.  Just what our living room needed to make it whole and complete.

Today I am feeling refreshed and raring to go and am eager to dive back into my studies of Wicca and Tarot.  I’m feeling a great energy about me today and so will make good use of the present moment and accept the gift of knowledge being bestowed upon me by the Goddess and God.  Thank you Spirit.

Spirit Is and today’s visiting Tarot Card is the “2 of Coins: Tai Chi.  Flexibility.  “Going with the flow”.  Living in tune with your environment.”  And to do this I must follow my instincts, my intuition a s to what is the right direction for my life and what I should keep in my life and what I must discard in order to move on, move ahead and allow me create the life I want as well as to write my own story, the story of my life.

Thank You Spirit.

Blessed Be.

Monday, January 28, 2013

Ace of Cups

Had another decent night’s sleep.  Slept in, well it’s sleeping in for me as it was 7am and not 5:30 or 6:00 so that’s a good thing.  Awoke in a good mood as well, quite full of love and serenity, anticipation even.  I’m looking forward to my more study of Wicca and Tarot, I guess.  As Saturday rolled into Sunday and upon awaking yesterday I had an overwhelming feeling to scour my bookshelves around the house and pulling out all of my books related to Wicca and Tarot and there are many of them.  I spent a good part of yesterday paging through my books and put all but three or four back on the shelves and will use these others as part of my more formal study of these crafts, Wicca and Tarot.

Thank You Spirit.

The Goddess and God caressed me with the cool fresh wind this morning as I communed with them and worked with Tarot.  The wind filled me with love as it carried away all of the negative energy that I do not need or have any use for.  Thank You.

Today’s visiting Tarot Card is the “Ace of Cups: A gift of love.  The beginning of a love affair, friendship, or partnership.”  As I did a quick meditation and shuffled the cards I was thinking about my desire and decision to begin a more study of Wicca and Tarot and that I will be starting these self-taught formal lessons today.  So I give my thanks to the Goddess and God for bestowing this message of love to me this morning reminding me that my study of these two crafts is one of love and friendship that I will share with them creating a bond that is unwavering and can never be broken.

Thank You Spirit.

Blessed Be.

Thursday, January 24, 2013

Nomadic, Wiccan RVer

2:14pm.  The day is flowing along nicely.  The Goddess, God and I are getting along quite well and my thoughts, dreams, goals and ideals are solidifying into my keenest passions and desires.

I took a walking along the Fraser River her in New Westminster along the quay and what is now Pier Park.  As I was walking the thought came to me that my ideal situation is to be, that I am, to speak in the present tense, a Nomadic, Wiccan, RVer.  I want to be of no fixed address and never have a clear destination in mind.  I just want to drive my old RV along the old highways and bi-ways of this continent we live on and just “be”.

I want to and expect to meet like-minded people along the way and find ways to pay my way whether it be to sell handcrafted cards, perform ventriloquism, do Spiritual Readings or to accept donations “just because” or to help me complete a yet to be named hobby I plan to take up in my RV.

Maybe there are some folks out there who need or who are willing to “hire” a witch”? 

Anyhoo, this is what is now calling out to me, always has been really as I’ve always longed to be on the road driving, driving to nowhere yet always arriving somewhere important to me.


Thank You Spirit.

Blessed Be.