The 'Youth of Wands' and Solidifying my Foundation

Thursday. June 9, 2016.  Many dreams again last night, so many dreams and I really need to start a dream journal as I've forgotten most of them.  So a journal will come to bed with me and I must do my best to awake and record my dreams.

Spirit is and today's Tarot Energy is the “Youth of Wands: Focusing attention on something.  Reaching for a goal from a possibly unsteady foundation.”

Yes, I am focusing attention on something and that is how I can help others by being me and living and working all things spiritual as I've always wanted to do, likely for longer than I know.  The foundation I'm is not particularly unsteady but more likely shifting as my mind races a lot and I waffle a lot about which direction I should take or whether or not I should get another job rather than create the life I want.  

However, I think the foundation I'm on is finally solidifying as I've really decided to take the risk of living and working a spiritual life for I know Spirit has my back and I will always have what I need, I never need doubt this ever again!

Anyone willing to wager $2500 on me with little to chance for a financial return on your investment?

Thank You Spirit.

Namaste.

'XVIII The Moon' and a Non-Rational World

Monday, March 21st, 2016.  Slept very well last night and had an odd dream or two one of which involved a boat chase of sorts.  I was on what I can only describe as what looked like a mini cruise ship but more of a touring boat with many passengers.  We were not so much being chased as we were just getting in the way by trying to protect people onshore or on a boat on the port or left side of the ship that were being target by a military boat.  We were willing to sacrifice ourselves in order to protect those people.  Our boat appeared to go under water but then resurfaced or so I think and then one boat or the other ran aground sort of...then I awoke.

I somewhat drifted back to sleep and this dream was coming back to the surface but then the alarm began its serenade.  Drat!

Today's Gay Tarot Energy is “XVIII The Moon: Sexuality pulls us into a different, non-rational world which is sometimes frightening, always creative.  A sense of mystery.  Creative ideas which gestate in the subconscious.  Sexuality or sex.”

"... pulls us into a different, non-rational world which is sometimes frightening, always creative."  I must admit that I do not in the least bit find the non-rational world frightening.  Quite the opposite as a good part of me likes to spend time in that world especially when I'm alone with Spirit, Nature, and Tarot.  I really like to push my boundaries of thinking, thought, and ideas.  I really like these words related to non-rational: odd, peculiar, strange, surreal, unusual, weird.

And creativity always ebbs and flows in and out of my life pretty much on a daily basis.  Many things can stir and get my creative juices flowing.  I guess in many respects I can classify myself as an ideas person because many ideas float through my mind and even my dreams and subconscious mind.  I really should jot them down.  Never know when ne crazy idea might come in handy.

Thank You Spirit.

Blessed Be.

The '10 of Cups', My Ideals and Secret Dreams

Monday, February 29, 2016.  Another day on the job has come and gone!  Whew!  Glad it's over.

The good news is that I'm getting more and more focused and filled with the strongest and most loving spiritual energy possible so I can be more immersed into my spiritual life and career.  I'm becoming more harmonized with the universe and this is really paying off for me.

Today's Gay Tarot Energy is the “10 of Cups: The Ideal.  Your secret dreams.  Attainment. Unrealistic, wishful thinking."

We spent the weekend close to home, heading out a couple of times to complete our weekly shopping run and grab a few lightbulbs.  I really enjoyed my time with Tarot both Saturday and Sunday and in fact I enjoyed interactions with Spirit throughout the weekend.  More than I ever have before.  I feel so connected to the universe and to so many people that are on a similar path as me where Spirit and the purity of the universe guide us in all that we do.

This is my "Ideal".  A transformation of the world through like minded thinking where the forces of light, love, and peace slowly weave themselves into the fabric of societies around the world, manifesting a new ideal where diversity is celebrated and something that brings and ties us together rather than dividing us as it does now.  This my "secret dream(s)"!

Thank You Spirit.

Blessed Be.

The 'Knight of Vessels, Eel'

Wednesday, October 14, 2015.  Another evening of Spanish lessons has come and gone and I'm actually learning the language one baby step at a time. Gracias.

I'm sleeping quite well considering I'm back at work and not able to simply sleep in and not worry about the day as we did last week.  I thoroughly enjoyed the week especially knowing that I had more to focus on the spiritual: Spirit, Tarot, the Sun, the Moon, and Crows along with the spirits of others and how I wish to engage with others' spirits around North America...this is my ultimate goal, my perfect job, my most rewarding career, my surest path to success that cannot and can never be measured in dollars and cents.  I give much thanks to the great conscious that "IS" for enriching my life and bringing such realizations as these into my life.

Spirit Is and today's Tarot Energy is the "Knight of Vessels, Eel: With purity of intent, your destiny defined, you are able to bring wisdom and maturity to your tasks.  Embarking on a quest of personal revelation, your vision leads you onward.  Your deep feelings are expressed at every turn.  Attraction, Conquest, Seduction, A welcoming, Compliance, Agreement, Induction, Coming together, Union, Arrival."

For now I feel a need to simply let the "Knight of Vessels, Eel" define and represent itself where you can allow its energy fill and guide you as needed without any words coming from me.  For me I feel like I've come upon and am about to open a long lost treasure...I wonder what it might be...

Thank You Spirit.

Blessed Be.

'O The Wanderer' and Welcoming Ourselves Into the Future

Look at what I wrote for tomorrow's date: Saturday, September 5th, 2016.  It's off by a couple of days I know as September 5th, 2016 is a Monday however it's what I intended to write after it, that's intriguing.  And that is this, "I'm finally living in my van, Serenity".

A reminder that I need to not merely have goals but also a timeframe in which I expect to achieve them and this is exactly what I'm going to do, which I just did.

I simply was preparing for tomorrow's journal entry...

And now it is Saturday, September 5th, 2015 and I've been awake for about an hour and a half and out of bed for an hour.  I made myself a coffee, now I'm on my second cup, I lit a candle, sat down with my Wildwood Tarot, and then lost myself in the flickering flame of the candle...

...goals came into my mind, images of me living out my dreams filled me with feelings of love and completeness as other images of sitting in Serenity and losing myself in the flickering flame of another candle filled my eyes...Spirit carrying my heart into the future and asking me to take a leap of faith and meet myself there...

Spirit Is and today's visiting Tarot is "0 The Wanderer: You have come to a junction or turning point in your life.  It may be an unconscious state in which you feel the tide has turned or sense something is going to happen.  In a way it already has.  Your spirit must move on and the desire to leap into the unknown beckons.  This may mean leaving behind or giving up some baggage or burden that you have carried with you from the past.  Now is the time to be clear and not let fear of falling or sad disillusion with the universe hold you back.  Let your imagination carry you into a new set of possibilities.  It is a time to travel hopefully and open your arms to new and challenging aspects of the universe."

Yes, the unknown, the unknown future beckons, is calling out to us to take a leap of faith, a leap of faith that is supported by unleashing our imagination and allowing it to release unlimited possibilities that carry us forward, that support our every step.  Thus leading us into the future where a part of us is already there waiting to welcome us to realize what we thought would only remain a dream...

...go ahead take the leap...your future is waiting for you...

Thank You Spirit.

Blessed Be.

7 of Wands and Knwoing Myself

Awaking to the warm kisses of the many rays of sunshine making their through the windows.  A beautiful morning after a stormy night.

Dinner was great last night, just something I made up and my partner executed flawlessly.  Thank You.  My dreams were strange indeed.  In one we awoke to a guy smoking in our short little hallway, if you can call it that, a hallway that is.  I took his cigarette away and put out in stream of tap water.  He then proceeded to reveal that one of his legs operated via micro electronics in his hip and knee.  That dream gave way to one where I was searching for a person or group of people but at the same time trying to avoid people I knew from a church I once attended.  I parked, then tried to find the place in a building where a wedding was taking place and where every door had people from the wedding or weddings streaming in and out.  I finally found a group of people, the wrong people and a guy commented on the colourful oven mitts I had on my hands.  Oven mitts?  Then I was taking part in a performance of some kind and I took my place along with what looked like a scooter in a small almost hidden corner that had quite the slant to it.  I had a difficult time keeping the prop, the scooter, in place.  Dreams sure seem to have a life of their own, don’t they?

Thank You Spirit.

Spirit Is and today’s visiting Tarot Card is the “7 of Wands: Fighting the wind.  A quixotic struggle.  Winning against the odds.  Confrontation.

I do feel like I’m pushing through the wind as I try to get to where I want to be in my life.  As I struggle against the odds of me being in charge of my own life instead of stumbling blindly along never knowing where I’m going or where I want to be I feel that I’m making slow but hindered progress none-the-less.  Progress that I will continue to struggle making so that my life is indeed my own.  I want to break free from the chains of life/society and truly find myself and then get to who I really am.  I have a great desire to know and make friends with myself.

Thank You Spirit.

Blessed Be.

Dreams Within Dreams

Dreams within dreams, an experience I do not remember having and a little bit off-putting but not really, at the same time.  I dreamed that I awoke to use the bathroom and came back to bed however, I then awoke from that dream but was still dreaming of a guy or was it a seal performing in a pool.  He was trying to play what I would say was basketball and he and his coach were trying to figure out a way of getting him more lift out of the pool in order to really shoot some hoops then I actually awoke from that, well kind of, maybe as I then was thinking about travel and the “10 of Wands” appeared, then I opened my eyes and it was two hours later than I thought it was.

So I’m not sure where my mind is at the moment but I am quite awake and in an odd state of mind.  I worked with Tarot and today’s visiting Tarot Card is the “10 of Wands: The Burden.  Responsibilities.  Obligations.  Overcommitting yourself.  Realizing that burdens are a part of life."  I need to focus my energies if I really want to get out there and travel the roads of North America, if that really is my goal.

When the image of this card from the deck I’m using came to mind while I was dreaming I immediately thought of travel as this is thought, the idea the image evokes in me, plain and simple travel.  So seeing the 10 of Wands makes me want to travel however it is also sending me other messages as well, those of responsibilities and obligations, lack of focus, trying too hard to reach my goals.  I think I need to sit back and relax a little and just let things be, including myself.

One step at a time...no worrying...believe in myself and my abilities...tackle my dreams and goals with courage and conviction and forever strive to reach the “pot of gold at the end of the rainbow”.

Thank You Spirit.

Blessed Be.

Doors, Thesholds, Transformations, Walking into and with the Light

Happy Imbolc/Imbolg.

What a beautiful morning we have here in New Westminster.  The sun is shining and brightening the ever increasing foggy day as the fog rolls in and covers the blue sky and half Moon as she recedes to welcome the blazing sun into the day.  Frost covers the rooftops nearby however the air has a certain warmth to it.  Perhaps, Spring is not too far away, maybe just around the corner.  But for now my neighbourhood is being hidden away by the pea soup thick fog that is enveloping all of the buildings around us, the sun is out there I know but he is losing ground to the fog on this morning.

Thank You Spirit.

My dreams were filled with Spirit Familiars, a Spirit Guide and Doors, Thresholds, Transformations, and Walking into and with the Light.  I had a brief conversation with my Spirit Guide as we played in the snow.  I’m not sure what neighbourhood we were in however I guess I was waiting for a bus of sorts, a bus that my Dad and brother were driving to come and pick me up.  They did not take a direct route most likely so my Spirit Guide could introduce himself and let me know how to communicate with him.  But I was very excited and half awoke up and the dream fizzled out.  At least, I know who he is and somewhat how I can communicate with him.  As I headed off to bed half asleep, my Spirit Familiars were making their presence felt.  I realized I had a turtle come to me one night, as I was in a half awake and in a dreamlike stupor, the other day as I was out for a walk, what I believe was a sparrow landed on a railing and looked into my eyes, and years ago, I was drawn to a plush toy, I guess you can call him, my pet rat, I’ve had resting on my headboard for years.  Thank You Spirit.

Spirit is and today’s visiting Tarot Card is “0 The Fool: Accepting and exploring one's sexual identity is a journey of self-discovery.  Beginning a new and exciting venture.  Going beyond the limits of social convention.  A nonconformist."  I’ve been awakened and some knowledge and wisdom has been gleaned to me now I must rise to the occasion and incorporate it into my life and make changes that will allow me to flourish and take off in ways and directions I never thought possible.

Thank You Spirit.

Blessed Be.

2 of Swords

We had an enjoyable day yesterday as we headed downtown on transit in a fog so thick that it seemed to cut us off from the rest of the world.  We walked along Vancouver’s False Creek for a spell before heading into the downtown core, more specifically, the Westend so we could have lunch.  We ate at what is our frequent place for lunch, the Fountainhead Pub.  After lunch we just walked around downtown enjoying the day.

I slept quite well last night despite my dream(s).  Thank You Spirit.

Spirit Is and today’s visiting Tarot Card is the “2 of Swords: Meditation.  Closing your eyes to outer circumstances in order to gain perspective or to avoid a decision.  Refusing to act".  The Collins gem book write up on this card suggests finding equilibrium or compromise between two opposing forces such as between heart and mind or inner and outer.  I’m perplexed by this card.  Maybe the message is clear and to be taken quite literally in the sense that I need to close my eyes and meditate as well as to open them to reality, reality that is staring me in the face yet I force myself not to see it.  I think what it is, is that I need to find compromise between the life I’m living and the life I want t live.  I think I just gained some great understanding of this in the last few seconds.  I can have the life I want but to get it I must finish or bring to completion, bring it to a satisfying end before and in order for me to move on with or to write my own future.

Thank You Spirit.

Blessed Be.

5 of Wands, Odd Dreams, Hard Work and Intuition

May I be in living my RV by this time next year as in January 2014?  Where in my RV is not as important to me as merely living in my RV but hopefully it is somewhere warm.

I slept well however had a couple of odd dreams, dreams I cannot fully remember but the feeling of them remains, feelings that these dreams were rather odd and perhaps even a bit uncomfortable.  Weird. . .

Spirit Is and today’s visiting Tarot Card is the “5 of Wands: The Hockey Game.  The project meets resistance.  Testing one’s ideas against others.  An enjoyable struggle.  Competition in the marketplace.”  I guess I’m going to have to work super hard in order to get what I want such as life in or living my life in my RV and further making a living from my crafting business and other small business ventures.  I think I can do it albeit be a difficult struggle to do so.

I just know that this is a dream of mine that needs chasing.  My intuition is to just load all of my possessions into my RV and to take off down the road as is, with little money in the bank and an RV in a state of disrepair.  But I’m resisting this sense of just doing it in order that I can put the RV back together a bit.  I’d like the inside of the RV to be in a bit more of a liveable condition.  I only need to remove the excess wood and other supplies not needed and button a few things up here and there and she is good to go.  But then a little mechanical work will not be a bad thing either.  But this should be done otherwise I could find myself broken down just a few miles down the road. . .

Thank You Spirit.

Blessed Be.

Knowing Oneself

I know I was dreaming last night however do you think I can remember anything of them?  I vaguely recall dreaming about an acquaintance we know or so I think, could be a total stranger, even myself for all I know.  Answers, answers, answers seem to be the word to describe this dream though.  This is the overall impression I have of my sleep last night.  And as I was thinking about the last statement the thought that came to my mind is one of me looking within myself and exploring every nook and cranny that makes me up as a human being.  It was like tearing something apart in order to get a look inside to see what makes it tick, like a clock or watch, perfect analogy.  I was looking within myself to see what makes me tick.

With that being said, Spirit is and today’s visiting Tarot Card dropped from the deck as I was shuffling, “II The Intuitive: To be true to oneself, one must know oneself.  Looking within for answers.  Meditation. Intuition.  Exploring that which is normally hidden.”  What I remember of my dreams quite accurately reflect today’s Tarot Card and if I combine this with what I read and take from my horoscope I need to look at the larger picture of what I want life to be and just let it be.  I apparently cannot allow myself to get too hung up on the details and simply go for it.  Things will work out with me simply doing, instead of fretting.

Thank You Spirit.

Blessed Be.

Merry Yule and a Joyous Winter Solstice

Merry Yule and a Joyous Winter Solstice to all.

The 21st of December has arrived and we are all apparently still here, still alive and well, at least for the most part.  Dreams of Spirit, RVs and Tarot Cards seemed to be what I remember about my sleep over the past couple of nights.  Spirit is strong and reverberating throughout my body and surroundings.  Spirit is indeed alive and well for those who are willing to acknowledge Spirits presence in and about their own lives.  Spirit is and there is no denying it.

Today’s visiting Tarot Cards are “XX Beyond Judgement: Self-acceptance must come before liberation.  Freedom from others expectations.  Trying to make conditions better for others.  Pride.  Self-acceptance.” and the “Man of Swords: A rational, scientific approach.  A thorough investigation.”  I believe that in order for me to overcome feeling the need to worry about and fit into others expectations of me I need to do thorough research into how I can gain liberation and freedom through self-acceptance.  This means looking within myself and dealing with anything dark and ugly that may be lurking in the dark shadows and far recesses of my mind.  I need to find myself inside of myself in order to be liberated and free.

Thank You Spirit and again Merry Yule to all.

Blessed Be.

XVIII The Moon

Another good night’s sleep with active or maybe just one active dream.  What was that dream about again?  I remember being in some residence other than our own and going upstairs to use the bathroom when someone else came out of another bedroom to do the same thing.  Perhaps, my Dad?  My partner's brother?  Boston?  I cannot be sure as the hallway was dark and the person was covered by shadow.  I’m sure I was having another dream of sorts maybe even connected to what I just described but it has been filed away somewhere in my subconscious mind for now.  Was it related to me making cards or was it somehow linked to travel, my RV?  Hhhmmm. . .

Spirit is and today’s visiting Tarot Card is “XVIII The Moon: Sexuality pulls us into a different, non-rational world which is sometimes frightening, always creative.  A sense of mystery.  Creative ideas which gestate in the subconscious.  Sexuality or sex".  What can I make of ‘The Moon’?  Well creativity was in abundance yesterday as I was contemplating card designs from a couple of stamped images that I was working with so that fits.  A sense of mystery also was percolating in the air yesterday and even today as a dream I remember having that I can no longer describe with words but can only rather feel at the moment has for some reason mysteriously slipped into the netherworld.

I love the Moon.  Seeing the Moon in the sky especially a Full Moon is breathtaking, energizing, wisdom giving, soul lifting, and spiritually revitalizing.  

The Moon is.

Thank You Spirit.

Blessed Be.

Taking the Next Step

Often when we desire something or are in pursuit of our dreams and goals we get to a point where the next step is likely the hardest one we'll have to take.  I think I'm kind of at this point in my pursuit of my own dreams and goals.  A fear of loss and security are holding me back from just doing what needs to be done to see my dreams and goals to come to fruition.

I've been chasing this significant dream of mine for years, the goal has always been the same but fear has always kept me back.  Have I reached a turning point?  Perhaps?  But only time will tell what I make of this realization I am having this morning.

Spirit is Great and today's visiting Tarot Card is the "4 of Coins".  I need to move on in and with my life and let others think what they may.  I need my life to be by own for once.

Thank You Spirit.

Blessed Be.

What the Heck?

I must have been dreaming over the past several days because I could swear that I've blogged many days since the 3rd but that is the last post I see.  What was I doing if I didn't actually write the posts that I thought I wrote since the 3rd?

So since my last post I have not worked a single day for the new employer that hired me.  I called the local office in my area and they seemed surprised, confused and not at all interested in what I was telling them.  I called and managed to talk with the contact person who's name I'd been given but he stated that he was not the person in charge of new hires or their training and would email the parties responsible and they'd call me the next day.  Well, the week is coming to a close and I called on Monday, should have heard something on Tuesday and Friday is just a sleep away.  I'll call the human resources department of this company and see what if anything I can learn or get going in regards to my employment with this company.  I have a feeling that I'll be moving onto other opportunities.

I gotta have faith in myself, my dreams, and my goals.

Since last Friday these are the Tarot cards that have visited me:

Sunday, November 4th - XI Strength
Monday, November 5th - 3 of Swords
Tuesday, November 6th - Man of Swords
Wednesday, November 7th - III The Protector

and today's visiting Tarot card is the "4 of Swords" and yes I'm resting up and taking a time out this weekend.  We're going to visit Victoria on Vancouver Island.  This will be a nice little mini vacation so I can recharge and revive my faith in myself and my plans for the future.

Thank You Spirit.

Blessed Be.

Gainfully Employed But. . .

. . .it feels so wrong.

I like the company that I found employment with however being employed in this way or in such a manner feels wrong to me.  A certain part of me is happy as I am fullfilling the expectations of others but another part of me feels like I'm selling myself short by not following or fully pursuing my dreams.

This morning as I looked for and found my watercolour pencils and tested out a few colours I was filled with happiness and joy in knowing that this was me, this is what I enjoy doing yet I'm trying yet again to satisfy the expectations of others at the expense of dashing my dreams yet again.

Don't get me wrong though, I understand the need to be employed however I wish that employment to be for myself, me employing me and not having earn my keep through working for someone else, as in this case, a corporation.  It is a great company but again I'm not working for myself and again am putting my dreams on hold to satisfy others.

With that being said, I see this employment as temporary as I cannot fathom putting my dreams on hold for another three or four years in order to meet the expectations of others.  And in addition, the Tarot cards I've been visited by over the past months point to the need for me to have the courage to move forward for myself and yet here I am folding under the expectations and needs of others.  I need to rebuild my courage and stand up for myself and my needs and deal with the consequences as they come.  My needs have to be my priority.

It's so difficult to talk with anybody as everybody seems to be tied into telling me what I need and should be doing and that my dreams are unrealistic and it's better to look for work and do that instead of following my dreams.  I believe in my talents and abilities however my faith and trust in myself dwindles when others challenge and badger me into following the rest of the herd.  I need to have faith in myself and the courage to live my life for me.  I really need to be the author of my own life.

HELP!

Yesterday's visiting Tarot card is the "Man of Cups" and today's is "II The Intuitive".

Thank You Spirit.

Blessed Be.