Sunday, April 20, 2014. I awoke a little earlier than I thought I would but I dozed for about another 30 minutes. When I first opened my eyes it was 6am and I finally crawled out of bed around 6:30am, I think.
Yesterday we made a jaunt over to one of the local malls where I picked a pair of jeans, some casual pants, and short-sleeve button up shirt. Although, I enjoyed spending the day out with my partner being in the mall depressed me. I don’t like the rat-race.
Once back home we did a few chores (I got rid of a few items of clothing) before settling in the for the evening. My thoughts often turned to living in a van conversion and not my motorhome. A van conversion was in my thoughts as it is smaller than my RV and would be less conspicuous if parked on the street with me living in it. And this is where my thoughts were going—trading in the car and getting rid of the RV and moving into a van conversion. Although I am comfortable with my life and do genuinely love my partner and enjoy my relationship I feel that something is missing, something is wrong with this life I find myself living.
Spirit Is and today’s visiting Tarot Card is “V The Priest: The best way to help others is to help them make their own decisions. Wisdom. Advice. A ceremony or ritual.”
Although this card somewhat signifies traditional paths or traditional patterns of behavior it also points to the possible need of a teacher, guide, or guru so I’m opening myself up to receiving a teacher, guide, or guru into my life in whatever form it takes. Paying more attention to my dreams, taking note of passages from a book or magazine that strike me as having significance or running into a person that touches me as being an important person to welcome into my life at this moment.
The “V The Priest” is not alone in his message to me to search for answers as the “9 of Swords: Unquiet Dreams. Stress. Worries. Mental tapes which play over and over.”
is also pointing in this direction. I need to break through, break free of this illusion that I think is my life and get down to the dirty little details of my life that are causing me some anxiety and worry. What do I have hidden in the deep recesses of my mind that I haven’t dealt with that now need to come to the surface and be taken care of once and for all? I need to wake up and face the face the facts. A time to refocus and make a tweak her and tweak there so my goals are more than just within reach but something I’m living and experiencing in the here and now.
What do I personally want in life? What are my convictions? Am I stopping myself from living my life my way for the sake of others? Am I placing more importance on what others think and believe rather than on what I believe and want out of life?
These are the questions that the repeat visit of the “7 of Wands: Fighting the wind. A Quixotic struggle. Winning against the odds. Confrontation.”
is asking me to confront and answer.
Thank You Spirit.
Blessed Be.
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