Tuesday, April 22nd, 2014. I slept much better last night and the day at seemed to go quite well however I won’t know for sure until tomorrow pretty much comes and goes. My day’s work is not really reflected back to me until the next day when all of the orders have gone out and/or the driver’s noticed an error or omission with my work. Taking my lunch break away from the office is a really good move on my part. I get to breathe and relax for an hour.
With all of this being said, I’m still not comfortable with my job. Also, I’m working at a traditional job that is not how I was hoping to spend this year. But I need stability and a stable income in order to take care of my debt, debt I am solely responsible for so I need to pay it off and then move on and this is my hang up, I suppose. My job is neither hard nor easy but not what I want to be doing at this point. I classify myself as a Spiritualist, a Tarot Professional and spirituality is where I want my focus to be. I have a two year debt repayment plan and will do everything I can to stick to it. But I’d also like to dabble in professional Tarot Card readings and spiritual study research, and teaching.
Thank You Spirit.
Spirit Is and today’s visiting Tarot Card is “XV Self-Hatred: The trap to avoid for all minorities. Unconsciously accepting societal norms. Low self-esteem.”
Am I deceiving myself and accepting a traditional role and a traditional job for the sake of fitting in and meeting family, partner, and friends’ expectations? Or am I deceiving myself in what I think I want to be doing in and with my life. Is fear crippling me more than it should be? Who is to say that if I drop everything now and follow my dreams, my intuition and gut instinct that I will fail miserably and fall flat on my face?
When I do think about dropping everything and simply taking off I don’t feel anxious or worried but feel kind of relieved. Finally, I made the decision and just did it-not thinking, no holding back, just taking off and going for broke-no job, no money no real prospects, simply a feeling that this is what I need to do.
“XV Self-Hatred” is here today to tell us to believe in ourselves and our futures. If we can just go for it today, let us all put real plans into place where we have a goal, an end date where we no longer live for others but instead live for ourselves. Let’s all do our best to find out what makes us tick, what makes us happy and where we want to go in life. Let’s all turn off the world and exterior noise for a moment so we can hear our won voices, our thoughts, see ourselves as who we really are and then break free of the fear that is holding us back and take our lives back.
Thank You Spirit.
Blessed Be.
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