February 26th to March 28th
Feb 26th - Ace of Wands, a creative inspiration
Feb 27th - 3 of Swords, The Wreckage
Feb 28th - 0 The Fool, a journey of self-discovery
March 1st - 7 of Wands, Fighting the wind
March 2nd - 3 of Cups, A good time; also XII The Hanged Man, Living in the moment
March 3rd - 5 of Swords, The Tennis Game, being overly competitive
March 4th - 7 of Coins, Chores
March 5th - 5 of Cups, The Aftermath, regret over past actions
March 6th - XVIII The Moon, a sense of mystery
March 7th - 9 of Wands, Don't mess with me
March 8th - 4 of Cups, The Audition
Along with working with Tarot, I'm also trying to remember and record the dreams I have. I find that everything is connected and I need to do all I can to keep in contact with the universe around me. The energy that we are is awesome and recognizing this energy and that we are a part of and that we are a part of a greater whole is both empowering and enlightening. How can we not engage with this energy. It is so electrifying and full of life, it is unbelievably amazing.
I've felt pretty darned lazy the last several days and have been watching television rather than working on cards or other crafts or ventriloquism. Actually, I was trying to make a birthday card for my Baby but found myself struggling to do so.
I'm seeing the messages being sent to me but not really comprehending what they are or what they mean. I need to forget television and instead focus on creating my life by paying attention to the words of wisdom I'm receiving from the world around me. Recognizing and understanding these messages is the key to improving my life and my situation in life, if I can say it like this. I need to meditate, breathe, relax and be receptive to the energy that swirls about and through me. The messages are there I just need to learn how to read and understand them, to put in human terms.
On the commute to work this morning, the young woman beside me was reading her Bible and that got me to thinking that I need to bring my Bibles with me when I embark upon my RVing adventure. This thought went even further in that I should read the Bible in order to gain a better understanding of what I am supposed to be doing in this life. The messages as I said before are right in front of me and the only barrier to understanding them is me.
Wednesday, March 9th - X The Wheel of Life
The Wheel of Life has come up before, before or after I had a dream about me and my RV. I find this quite curious as part of this cards meaning, if you will, is "guidance from your future or past self". And, if I am to be frank and honest with myself, life on the rim, is, indeed, making me dizzy, so I really should be moving to the centre.
Thursday, March 10th - 8 of Wands, Movement, everything is falling into place; people or circumstances are aligning to facilitate the achievement of your goals; matters are rapidly reaching a conclusion; a group combines their energies while maintaining individuality.
Oh, how I hope this latest message from Tarot puts me into my RV sooner rather than later. It has been 23 years since I first wanted to be an RVer, ten years since I thought I could do it, and now going on five years since I purchased an RV. I need to live the life I feel is right for me, the life I'm meant to live. Back in 1988, I wished, desired prayed to be able to be in an RV and write about my experiences as I traveled throughout North America and here we are twenty-three years later where hundreds of RVers are doing just that and I'm not one of them. Twenty-three years of missed opportunities because of my lack of passion, conviction, focus, and unwillingness to work hard to achieve my goals.
Messages are coming to me loud and clear and I am still sitting on my hands doing nothing. The universe around me is working it's butt off trying to help me achieve my goals and I do nothing to make it happen. I need to take action and then everything will fall into place. Perhaps, though, this latest Tarot card is a strong indicator that things have moved slightly beyond my control and that the universe is going to make it happen one way or another. I hope I can handle what is to come.
Right now I really desire to take charge of and write my own story of my life instead of merely being a side-line observer of it. My life matters and is meaningful enough for me to take control of it and live my life's desires as I see fit. I, then will be able to sink or swim on my own and see what I can make of myself without having to be dependent on another. I need to get off my ass and start supporting myself and making my life count. I have a purpose and it is high time that I start fulfilling that purpose.
With the few dreams I've been having as well as the messages I believe I'm receiving from the universe I feel optimistic about moving into and living full time in my RV. It feels like it has already happened and I'm just catching up to the universe's actions.
This morning, this morning being Saturday, March 12th I worked with Tarot and had a great experience with it. As I shuffled cards and connected with the universe within and all around me a card fell away from the deck, flipping over to reveal X The Wheel of Life. I was going to take this card as the card of the day but I was struck with the need to put it back into the deck and continue shuffling so I did. Again, as I was shuffling, another card fell away from the deck, this time the card being XIII Death and again I felt I was asked to return the card to the deck. I shuffled some more and then cut the deck three times before flipping over the top card. The top card is IV The Emperor. My recollections of seeing this card before and what the possible interpretations of this card are were quite accurate. Then I was struck with the idea that I should look at the next two cards on top of the deck. The next card I flipped over was X The Wheel of Life and the third, XIII Death. I found this to be an amazing and beautiful occurrence. These cards are quite potent for the day as they all come from the Major Arcana.
Depending how I want to reflect on them, IV Emperor could be the first or last card as could X The Wheel of Life. Either way, XIII Death is the second card in this trio of cards.
IV The Emperor: Sometimes one must be a benevolent despot. Organization. Taking charge. An authority figure. Utilizing discipline to provide a structure for creativity.
X The Wheel of Life: If life on the rim makes you dizzy, move to the centre. Awareness of the cycles of life. Equanimity. A change in fortunes. Guidance from your future or past self.
XIII Death: Endings are beginnings. A phase of life is over. Allowing time to mourn. A part of yourself has outlived its usefulness.
I'm trying to think, and maybe that's the problem, about what part of me has outlived it's usefulness. I think I understand the part about the phase of life that is over and can easily handle moving onto and into the next phase of my life. I can also see endings as beginnings such as the end of my relationship where in all actuality I know it most likely ended long ago and we're just going through the motions.
Utilizing discipline to provide structure for creativity makes sense as well and I know exactly where I can apply this and that is in making cards and other crafts, practising ventriloquism, as well as repairing and moving into and traveling full time in my RV. Organization is all a key factor in my success in achieving my goals, dreams, and desires.
Sunday, March 13th
VII Swords: The Messenger, Carrying your plans through obstacles. Speed is important. Someone brings news or a message. Carelessness.
I cannot say for sure but I somehow think I had a dream about the RV and what I should do regarding her. The message I think I heard is "go for it". I have a vague recollection of a dream that involved traveling in the RV, a message perhaps, from my future self?
I also realized as I was again thinking about planned remodels to the RV that I can now add a battery bank alongside the planned rotation of the water tank. I can add 2 x 6 volt batteries to work along with the "house" battery under the hood. Not sure if that can work or not but I will try to make it work somehow. We shall see what I can make happen with the funds I have at hand.
Last night, the 14 of March I drew card number VIII from the Major Arcana, Justice: Even today, gays can be the victims of "justice". An unfair judgment. Being too judgmental or righteous. Feeling restricted by other's expectations.
Last night I finally realized the part of me that has outlived it's usefulness, the part of me that is always worried about what others are doing and thinking particularly when I perceive it to be about my life and the way I live it. My actions or lack there of are always checked against what other's may think of me and this I now realize is not the right way to live, it is no way to live. I must learn to do that which is right for me regardless of the thoughts or opinions of others. I'm my own person and I want to live as a poor man in an RV doing that which pleases me regardless of how downtrodden my life may become as a result of my/such actions.
I need to start living for myself.
Tuesday, the 15th of March and the card that showed up is the 3 of cups: A Good Time. Happy, comfortable times together. Quiet enjoyment. celebration.
This is the perfect card for the night I/we had. A quiet night, sitting warmly in our home in front of a roaring fireplace, as roaring as a gas fireplace can be, and listening to the wind and rain on a dark and stormy night.
Wednesday, the 16th of March revealed card XIV Temperance: Mix things up a little. Combining separate elements to create something new. Moderation (not too much of each flavour). Flexibility.
Tonight, The Youth of Wands fell away from the deck as I was shuffling it. My thought(s) swirled around the RV and my going out to execute repairs on her with the eventual goal of driving off into the unknown. This card also came up the last time my thoughts swirled around the RV so there is a message I must hear and take into account as I try to live out my dreams, passions, and goals. The Youth of Wands is about focusing attention on something.
Reaching for a goal from a possibly unsteady foundation. I do realize my foundation is not very steady and that is what has held me back for so long and I am beyond holding myself back these days. I know I could be a lot better off if I focused on this goal early on as I would most likely be living in an RV by now considering this was my biggest goal back in 1988 but as is the case many a time, life got in the way. I allowed myself to be easily influenced into following the pack and look where it's got me, waiting almost 25 years to live my dream.
No more! Unsteady foundation or not I plan to move ahead with my goal as carefully as I can so as not to stop before it starts. I take one step at a time, granted some of those steps may be leaps and bounds but I will do my best to be careful, thoughtful, diligent, focused, and patient as I move ahead with this dream of mine.
I was reading "Travels with Miranda", a blog written by a Canadian gal by the name of Rae and she had some L.E.D replacement bulbs given to her, no big deal, but actually, yes, as they can be used in the existing lighting fixtures in many an RV. I hope I can find some that will fit into mine then I only need by bulbs instead of an entire new light fixture. My plan was to replace all of my light fixtures but if I can just replace the bulbs I'll do that instead as the fixtures are a little pricey. If I remember, I paid about $40 for the new fixture I put up to replace the old ceiling fixture in the galley.
Today, I took the day off and did things related to RVing. Today is Friday, March 18, 2011. I did not do a lot regarding the RV but enough to feel comfortable with what I did. I would have done more but I did not bring everything I needed with me from home such as a pair of scissors, an x-acto knife and a cutting mat. Without these items I could not apply the DiSeal Tape to the leaky area of the RV that I am focusing on at the moment. I go back to work on Monday but then have Tuesday off because it is March 22 and my birthday.
I finished up at the RV and drove over to Wal-mart, had lunch at McDonalds, picked up some tank tops for my partner and myself and a few underwear for me and then came home. I unpacked, did a few things and then headed to the gym. I arrived back from the gym not long ago and just finished working with Tarot.
The card that revealed itself today is XVIII, The Moon: Sexuality pulls us into a different, non-rational world which is sometimes frightening, always creative. A sense of mystery. Creative ideas which gestate in the subconscious. Sexuality or sex.
Saturday, March 19th is IV The Emperor: Sometimes one must be a benevolent despot. Organization. Taking charge. An authority figure. Utilizing discipline to provide a structure for creativity.
Sunday, March 20, 2011 the first day of spring is here once again. Happy Ostara to all. Last night was another full moon and the moon was/is at one of it's closest moments to the Earth. I missed it even though we were out last night until past 10:00PM.
The tarot card that revealed itself tonight is the Man of Wands: Someone who likes to fix problems, and/or who thrives on unstable or dangerous situations. "The Establishment". Keeping the peace. An image of a police officer holding his baton in one hand and tapping it on the other. Wands represent the element fire and deal with the creative life. What is this all about? What does "The Establishment" mean to me?
Another beautiful day here on this beautiful planet I get to call home. Although, the day started on an awkward if not rough note at work the day is coming to a fine close. The light rain that has been falling on and off all day was very nice to walk in on my way to and from work. I really quite enjoy it and as is more often than not this weather made me desire to be in my RV. Living and trying to work from an RV will not necessarily make my life any better than it is but I just feel such a strong need to embark on this type of madness and have to do it no matter the consequences. I need to experience life in an RV.
I just finished working with Tarot and the card that revealed itself to me is the Youth of Cups: Youthful emotions. Daydreaming. Shyness. I like the appearance of this card for today and tomorrow it feels good to have it sitting in front of me.
I started to read "Psychic Tarot written by Nancy Antenucci tonight and when the news came on at 10PM I lay the book down beside me. At one point I glanced down at the book and I was amazed to see a ball of white light float just above the sofa and directly into the book. As I returned to read the book what I was reading echoes what I wrote several paragraphs ago. I am mesmerized at how serendipitous my journey is. This spiritual awakening I am experiencing, altering my life right before my eyes. How great it is to bear witness to changes taking place within me. So mote it be!
Happy Birthday to Me! Today is Tuesday, March 22, 2011 and forty-five years ago today I was lucky enough to be born. Tonight the card that revealed itself to me is the Ace of Swords: An idea. Starting to develop a plan or strategy.
And as I was shuffling the cards, the Man of Wands gave me another peak at him, almost flipping over but not quite all the way. So this card is also of some influence today. This guy appeared two days ago and now that I reviewed this card it is "The Establishment" that is coming out from this card again.
"The Establishment"? What shall I make of this?
Last night as I was drifting off to sleep I imagined myself and then felt myself fall asleep on my bed in the RV. I first pictured the walls and curtains in my little cocoon of a bedroom and then of myself lying in bed and then I was out before waking up a few hours later, not getting quite comfortable enough to fully get into a deep sleep, tossing and turning most of the time until the alarm rang out in the fresh morning air (of our bedroom).
The day was nice with a bit of sun, quite a bit of sun really and fairly warm temperatures. After the delayed dentist appointment I came home, changed and walked over to the gym. Came home was greeted by my partner, then I had a snack, watched a bit of news, warmed up leftovers for dinner, just finished my shower and now I'm working with Tarot.
Today, of course, is the 23rd of March and the card that revealed itself today by falling out of the deck as I was shuffling it is XI Strength: Directing your passions rather than suppressing them, is the key. Finding healthy outlets for powerful energies.
With spiritual matters, I find that I love to preach, I guess I need my very own soapbox on which to stand to speak to the masses.
Traveling is sheer joy for me. I feel the love of God flow through me as I drive down the highway finding so much amazement in the things streaking by. The journey is key for me, the destination is just a nice bonus but it is the drive for me that can't be beat.
The card for Thursday, March 24th fell away from the deck and is the Youth of Swords: Curiosity. Research. Computers, e-mail. Immature communications. Spying (or "hacking"). A very fitting card for the day as I was curious, used my computer for e-mails and some immature communications.
Saturday, March 26, 2011 is here, no special day really but special all the same because I woke up to enjoy it. I try and be thankful, grateful, and appreciative of each and every day I wake up in the morning 'cause I've been allowed to lived yet another day.
Today, Saturday's card is the Ace of Cups and another perfect card for this day: A gift of love. The beginning of a love affair, friendship or partnership. The Ace of Cups is another beautiful card in the Gay Tarot deck. I love the imagery on most of the cards in the deck and this one is no different, a goblet, a top hat, the golden energy of the universe full of friendliness and love, a pond with lilies and flowers, how beautiful.
Took out two of my other Tarot decks and shuffled the Rider Tarot deck and the card that revealed itself from this deck is VII The Chariot: Succour, providence, also war, triumph, presumption, vengeance, trouble. Also potential for riot, quarrel, dispute, litigation, defeat.
Today, the 27th of March revealed XX Beyond Judgement: Self-acceptance must come before liberation. Freedom from others' expectations. Trying to make conditions better for others. Altruism. Pride. Self-acceptance.
I also worked with the small tarot deck I picked up at Chapters and the card that revealed itself from that deck is the IV of Wands: Social life and activity come to the forefront. Don't get stuck in old behaviour patterns. If you come to a fork in the road, keep your eyes open for all options. Past efforts and labour bring rewards. Also, possibility for the need to try and appreciate what you have; don't let envy into your life; errors in judgment are likely when emotions cloud reason; do you really think someone is taking advantage of you? Think about it.
I cannot liberate myself unless I accept myself for who I am. I must be accepting of myself if I want others to accept me for being me. SO I need to get over myself, realize I am who I am and then move on and my liberation will soon follow.
Today's card, this being Monday, March 28th, is the Sage of Wands: Wanting to change the world. Changing your environment by winning others to your viewpoint. Critical acclaim. Politics.
Wanting to change the world is something I've wanted to do all my life as far back as I can remember. I've never been satisfied with the world I live in because of all the competitiveness and greed that permeates our society here and around the world. I've never been able to understand how we allow human suffering to take place when it seems so simple of a solution make a difference in the world of someone in need. And what is the value of money.
How could we have invented something that causes so much misery, death, destruction, and starvation. We have robbed ourselves of such wonderful lives it's just pathetic. An example, here's one for you. We have more than enough food to go around yet people continue to starve. and why? Money! How can we feed the starving? Just ship the god-damned food to them and be done wit it! That's how!!!!!!
I do not have a simplistic view of the world at all, it's just that we have made it more complicated than it really is or even should be. Money gets in the way of life and gets in the way of living.
As I was thinking spiritually, a need to find where I put my most recent book purchase came to mind. "Psychic Tarot" is a book that tonight, I realized I must really read now! So it is here sitting beside me as I write this, waiting for me to pick it and read through its pages. The book will help me more than I can imagine right now.
Thanks for stopping by and reading this lengthy post. . .
