Expectations

I enjoyed most of the day by myself yesterday as my partner was busy at his workplace marking final exams.  I really enjoyed “My” time and hope to have more in the coming days, weeks, months, and years.  I really do value “aloneness” these days and perhaps a relationship is just not the right thing for at this time.  I enjoy life with my partner for the most part and we have created a beautiful and comfortable home together however something is lacking.  I need more freedom than a stationary home offers and having an RV and all of my possessions with me wherever I go is very appealing and desirable to me.  I need to do it more than I want to do it.

I even made a quick visit to my mobile house on wheels yesterday and thoroughly enjoyed the experience of just being in my RV and not even doing any type of work or organization.  I love my RV.  Oh, when I opened up her door and peered inside I was surprised again at how spacious she looks without the dinette.  My decision to create a work space is the right one.  I was fretting about that the other night and now I have been shown that it is the right thing to do.  And she is dry inside.  I could find no noticeable water leaks during my quick look around the once leaky areas of the RV.  Whew!  Of course, I still have another ‘dead’ battery to contend with.  Stupid, I say leaving the lights on like that.

Spirit is and today’s visiting Tarot Card is “VIII Justice: Even today, gays can be the victims of "justice".  An unfair judgement.  Being too judgmental or righteous.  Feeling restricted by others' expectations.”   Yes, I’m still suffering from trying to live up to or meet other people’s expectations of how I should “work” or at least look for work and what I’m supposed to do in life.

I can no longer fit into this mold and need to strike out on my own.

Thank You Spirit.

Blessed Be.